Author Archives: rwadmin

Who’s the boss of you?

(in order to read to the end press title – it’s a link).

Ive been thinking about how in a given day and certainly in different situations we are able to access certain skills that in other situations when we need those skills they are not there. Like when a parent is extremely patient, clear and grounded when a child is acting overtired, crabby and insulting yet when in another similar situation with someone else he/she feels attacked, victimized, and confused. what is going on here? the person has the skill set in one situation and it does not transfer to the other.

It’s all in our perception!

Lately ive been thinking about it as what part of me has just grabbed my executive function? How old is she? what does she need? this has now extended out to other people. when someone else is acting intolerable or confusing – what part of them has grabbed their executive function? what do they need? and how do i want to respond?

I think we do this all day long unconsciously. Yet if we moved this conscious we could have such a creative play instead of feeling confused and befuddled. we can know just as we are sliding up and down the ages and skill sets so isnt everyone else.

When you feel threatened backed into a corner, you think and act so different than when you feel safe, comfortable and relaxed. Who has grabbed your executive function and what does she need.?

I was working with this one woman and i had her draw her different parts. One part was in full rich color and shape another was a stick figure. You can imagine what happened when that stick figure got control of her executive function – stark – empty – depressed… We worked on filling out this stark one, finding out what she likes, getting to know her – there were so many surprises to both of us! For one she loved horseback riding… so as you can imagine as this stark one got more seen and content the woman’s live got more texture, color, contentment ……

poem for pain

my body feels charged like what i imagine a finger in an electric socket feels like. tears just behind my eyes .

ready,. 

shock, surprise, disappointment, anger, sometimes shooting separately sometimes a soup. 

i am expanding out, reaching past everything known. just here, just this minute, letting the thoughts, ideas, questions, just run on and on without me highlighting any, without me believing.

 let go now, just let go my little one. there is nothing to hold up. there is nothing to control. slip streams all around me begging to be joined. the sirens call compelling, me.

 just here right now, this resonance of being  

no plans to make, no defenses to engage. 

this moment i am ok,

breath. 

succor is everywhere, the birds calling, the beads of water hanging off the green. succor is here little one. I’ve got your back. 

shoulda, woulda, coulda, are singing their endearments. 

succor is here little one. right now succor is in paying attention to all of what I’m not noticing when I’m heeding their mellody.

How to keep focus

the brain does not discriminate between an experience we picture and imagine and an experience that is real. we will play with this tonight. yet as always being present we see what wants to manifest from our energies together. so this is how it works. ready to go forward with an intention but not holding it tight, holding it lightly within the context we are in. so always open to changing data yet holding direction. this is how you do not drift around like a leaf in the wind.

How has doing this work changed you?

i am not triggered so much and when i am i know what to do

i know how to be in a feeling/sensation without feeding the story around it.

lots of joy – greater capacity for joy

a recognition of being home and content as a background field

i can go past my conditioning

i can let myself know where someone else is at without loosing myself

i can relate to the emptiness in anyone

i know i am not separate.

i viscerally know we are connected

i acknowledge the field

i know what is needed in any given situation

i have a greater capacity for love

i can tune in

i have skills that i never dreamed were possible

i can tune into so many dimensions

the invisible is accessible to me

i understand ken wilber’s wake up, grow up, clean up and show up stages

i am connected to my body and at the same time not limited to my body

there is more space and less overwhelm

What are we doing?

In case you are wondering what we are doing?

we really see everything from where we developmentally are! as well as our cultural, biological, multi generational conditioning : thus determing our entire perspective, our feelings, how we make meaning out of an incident, our actions and our decisions. this is why we work on development as well as waking up. Both are necessary! 

in the energy work we constantly touch into, wake up and develop both of these. It is not just about keeping your psychology painless and regulated. the more we develop the more choices we have and the more energy frequency we can handle. our connection to the field and support becomes a given. things that used to be hard work become effortless. we find ourselves saying “i remember when that was difficult or when i could not even do that, and now i don’t even think about it”. 

Death And Giving

beautiful meeting,
and i keep noticing when we give, i thought we were going to help deepal in death, we get so very much more. we learned a new way to die! really in all my years i have not seen such a clear, clean joyful way to portal into a new dimension. reset. here then connecting there. love and concern for those here without any responsibility for them. far far far out. what a teaching that we all got in our cells, our beings, touching into the possibility of it and even to be it NOW.

Reflections on the codependence/addiction course

What i like the best about this work is the no right or wrong of it. The reminder, caution of attributing meaning, falling ino holes, getting overly dependent or independent. A surfing, a remembering to resource oneself and each other.
but the biggest thing it has helped me with, is how to not wreck good things, good people, good jobs, not wreck wholesomeness. and to value detail and love simple, to notice the non toothache.
Also it gives me a language, a naming, ah drama is happening, manipulation is happening, denial is happening, a noticing short hand that aids being centered and available, rather than reactive and lost, a valuing of that for itself.

I remember pia saying, she wanted her life to be more exciting and now she’s just hanging on by her fingernails with the never ending discoveries of recovery. Ask for what you want, notice what you get, celebrate the no’s.