Who’s the boss of you?

(in order to read to the end press title – it’s a link).

Ive been thinking about how in a given day and certainly in different situations we are able to access certain skills that in other situations when we need those skills they are not there. Like when a parent is extremely patient, clear and grounded when a child is acting overtired, crabby and insulting yet when in another similar situation with someone else he/she feels attacked, victimized, and confused. what is going on here? the person has the skill set in one situation and it does not transfer to the other.

It’s all in our perception!

Lately ive been thinking about it as what part of me has just grabbed my executive function? How old is she? what does she need? this has now extended out to other people. when someone else is acting intolerable or confusing – what part of them has grabbed their executive function? what do they need? and how do i want to respond?

I think we do this all day long unconsciously. Yet if we moved this conscious we could have such a creative play instead of feeling confused and befuddled. we can know just as we are sliding up and down the ages and skill sets so isnt everyone else.

When you feel threatened backed into a corner, you think and act so different than when you feel safe, comfortable and relaxed. Who has grabbed your executive function and what does she need.?

I was working with this one woman and i had her draw her different parts. One part was in full rich color and shape another was a stick figure. You can imagine what happened when that stick figure got control of her executive function – stark – empty – depressed… We worked on filling out this stark one, finding out what she likes, getting to know her – there were so many surprises to both of us! For one she loved horseback riding… so as you can imagine as this stark one got more seen and content the woman’s live got more texture, color, contentment ……

One thought on “Who’s the boss of you?

  1. rwadmin Post author

    I work with this a lot. sometimes we use as default an inadequate part to be our exective function in certain situations. Like a button was pushed or a trigger gone off and our wise selves are pushed out and a old default outgrown habit takes over ursurping our emotional response.


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